I've mentioned a few times that I've been reading Love and War over the last few weeks. It's a book that was sent to me to read and review by Waterbrook Multonomah as part of their Blogging for Books program.
I was a little skeptical going into this book. I've never really found a book on marriage that gets to the heart of so many of the common issues. There are lots of books with recommendations and suggestions...but I've found so many of them to be like slapping on a band-aid when what you really need is a heart transplant. The root of the issues are rarely being dealt with. I've watched marriage class after marriage class fill up at church...and every time a new class is offered, they fill up again with those same couples looking for another fix, something else to try, another band aid to try to hold it all together. And sadly, I've watched so many of those couples call it quits.
I also have to admit that I haven't finished this book yet. It's too good and too important to rush through. I'm currently about halfway through and the further I get, the more I realize that I need to go back to the beginning and work through this book with Tom.
The main premise of the book, or at least as I've found it to be so far, is that marriage is hard. Certainly not a groundbreaking idea, but one that I think we tend to gloss over. For many who've grown up on romance and Disney princesses and happily ever after, we enter into marriage with the idea that it should be easy. I know I did.
Marriage isn't easy.
It's a daily battle, one that truly matters and one that truly counts. Every marriage that succeeds models Christ and the church, and God's ultimate plan for reconciliation. The hard part comes when we realize that we are all broken beings and we bring that brokenness into marriage with us. It affects every part of who we are, how we relate and how we deal with every day life in large and small ways. That brokenness affects our marriage profoundly at every level.
Realizing that we live in that brokenness is so crucial, and so is realizing that it's not our spouse's responsibility to fix. At the same time, marriage can be used by God to transform us into who He wants us to be as individuals, blessing and strengthening our marriages at the same time
Looking back over 13 and a half years of marriage, I wish that this book would have been written sooner. I appreciate the honesty with which John and Stasi Eldredge have written this book, and I am thankful for the way they have allowed me and all who will read this book into the depths of their marriage. I was suprised to see how similar some of their struggles have been to my own, as well as how deeply their words have resonated in me and inspired me.
I truly can't recommend this book highly enough. Whether you've been in the trenches for a long time, are still a newlywed or are still in the planning stages of life, this book will only bring blessings and benefit. I could go on and on (and I'm sure as I finish the book I will), but really - just buy it and read it and live it. You won't regret it.
This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.
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