Have you ever had one of those moments where you soul sort of knocks on the door of your heart and then invades your head?
Did that even make even the tiniest bit of sense?
If not, I apologize, but it's the only way I can think of describe the feeling I had the other day. Running errands, flipping between our local Christian radio stations, overwhelmed and burdened by all that my life is right now. I find myself listening to Moody Radio quite a bit lately. I've never been a talk radio fan, but with the void of solid preaching we've been experiencing it's become my go-to place to hear God's word. It also plays a bit of music at different times of the day, and while much of that music is quite dated I often find it speaking directly to my heart...even when it's dated (electronic sounding trumpet fanfares, anyone?) and uses every single verse of a hymn (and yes, contrary to what some believe, hymns speak very loudly to this post-modern believer).
This day, the hymn was Be Thou My Vision. In all honesty, I love hymns that go well with bagpipes and Be Thou My Vision does that well...but listening in the car that day, with tears in my eyes and my soul knocking, I realized that right now...what I need more than anything else...is vision.
In the anxiety and stress of 2010, I lost God's vision for my life. What is His call, His plan, His heart? He is ready and already working to rebuild my broken heart and these broken lives, but I also know that He will do it in accordance with His will.
In ways both large (ministry) and small (back to school?) and everything in between, my hope and prayer for 2011 is this...
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.